dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
