I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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