dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
soo... how was my night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
