My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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