I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
