peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I accidentally burped into my bong.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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