She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
