I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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