So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
