I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hell yes lets make some ravioli
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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