why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
