fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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