am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
