i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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