i was rollin on her like bob the builder
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
