You work out of a Hotel?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
