Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish I only lived at night.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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