i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
