i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
