Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
