So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
