She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
