i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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