I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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