Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
