And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
