i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
