You made me cry and you don't even care
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
