I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
