omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
