No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
