this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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