he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
