Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
