are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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