It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
