ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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