and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
