If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We need to rekindle our bromance
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
