just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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