if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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