I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
where am i from again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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