She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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