did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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