Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
