fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
