I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
