My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
