I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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