Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
